Some people set resolutions each year. For the last few years I have focused on a word of the year (self proclaimed word nerd over here). My word for 2024 is unleash: to abandon control of, to set loose, to pursue or run at will. The part that resonated with me most is “to abandon control of.” This is my intent for the year.
Fast forward a few months and a few thousand miles away and I got to experience and embody my word of the year in the most unforgettable way at the Blue Lagoon in Iceland. The Blue Lagoon’s tagline is “Iceland’s wonder of the world.” When I saw it on my inflight monitor, I thought that’s a bit hyperbolic, but let’s see.
Turns out it’s the one time the marketing department was underselling something. My experience was one I’ll never forget, a two hour in-water massage. I went into a with a lot of unknowns about logistics but open to what the 120 minutes had in store.
Some experiences are hard to put into words and I know this is one, but nevertheless, I persist. Selfishly I want a record of how it made me feel and what it shook loose creatively. Magnanimously I want other people to know this magic is out there.
The Blue Lagoon is a geothermal spa in southwestern Iceland where you can frolic in their famous geothermal seawater that is “70% ocean water and 30% freshwater, enriched with silica, algae, and minerals.”
My first impression of the Blue Lagoon was Cancun spring break, the way north edition. You step outside in a plush white robe because it’s cold, somewhere in the 30s on this particular day. You hang up your robe and enter a massive body of ice blue water that is populated with other swimsuit clad people. There are two swim up bars and two drinks are included in the entry fee, which you redeem with a rubber bracelet. It's five o’clock somewhere and a far cry from what I was envisioning as this natural oasis of tranquility.
We keep moving onward through the water, past the party people, to reach the treatment area. Roped off and far enough from the action to feel a world away from the Cancun North vibes. Here I redeem a rubber bracelet for treatment.
A man and woman are approaching my friend and I and every fiber of my being hopes I get the man. Turns out the color of your bracelet determines your therapist and brown is now my lucky color. I prefer men when given the choice as they are usually stronger and more terse which results in deeper pressure and less talking, just the way I like it.
The session starts by laying on a table. The water skims the back of your body. The cool breeze above overwhelms the warmth of the water below. My mind is immediately on high alert: will I be too cold to enjoy this? I encourage my mind to think warm thoughts and breathe into the experience.
Before I can exhale, Ales has covered my body in warm, wet towels. A weighted blanket of warmth that puts my mind at ease, ready to receive. Ales proceeds to uncover one limb at a time, and limb by limb exfoliates my skin. In between each body part, he quickly and gently removes each towel and reheats them in the geothermal water, placing them back on me with renewed warmth. My trust in the process increases and my fears of being cold are erased with each refreshed towel.
Fear gives way to surprise when he covers my breasts with a new towel and simultaneously removes the one from my stomach with magician level sleight of hand. The stomach is often neglected in a traditional massage, so to have it gently rubbed and washed is next level soothing. The slow sideways drag of the warm towel across my stomach is the first time that afternoon my eyes go to the back of my head.
By the time he moves from exfoliating to moisturizing my control is losing its grip. So much so that when he finishes moisturizing each limb and tells me he’s going to wrap my body in a bag, I’m thinking go ahead, tie me up, throw me in the trash, leave me on the curb. I do not care. Control abandoned.
Ales returns to the table with a clear plastic bag. He starts at my feet, bringing the bag up my body, stopping at my neck and softly knotting it. As I type that, it screams serial killer, but in the moment it was the most natural next step in this sensory journey. Ales then gently pulls me off the table, covers my eyes with a mask and lets me float for a good 30 minutes. This is when things shift from spa service to spiritual experience.
Freedom is the feeling of being weightless. Like a plastic bag dancing on the wind, there I am in my plastic bag floating into oblivion. The sound of nature is in stereo, the whisper of the wind and the gentle lap of the warm water, the peace of white noise and the blackout before my eyes take me away. My mind wanders right into my body and a series of sensual scenarios. My sensory level is at bliss and I haven’t even gotten the massage yet.
I still have no idea how the massage will work, but by this point I surrender to the elements and to a perfect stranger. I hand him the keys to the house and he can snoop in the medicine cabinet for all I care. Have I mentioned that Ales is young, blond, built, and Icelandic? Well he sure is and his English is good enough for small talk but not fluent enough for conversation, which gives me the gift of silence throughout.
He removes the bag and proceeds to massage my body head to foot for the next hour or so. Time feels irrelevant because I am completely lost in my senses. As a friend put it, “everything just falls off’ when you’re in sensual mode. I have fallen and I don’t want to get up.
One of my favorite meditations is called “To Be Both” and to be both in warm water and to feel the cool breeze is a combination I will not forget. It’s intoxicating really. Just as he did during the table portion, Ales keeps me warm throughout by immersing my body every so often. It is downright spiritual to soak in the geothermal warmth of these wondrous waters. Reverend Green, take me to the water and baptize my sins, why don’t you!
As I float, he gently pushes my stomach down, as if my body is a fulcrum, so that my feet tickle the bottom and my shoulders are submerged. The first time he does it, it feels so good, my mind is shouting “do it again!” He repeats it two more times. Each time, as a series of three, paging the father, the son, and the holy spirit!
It simultaneously feels like I am being baptized and back in the womb. This is primal. My only reference point is a hammam experience in Marrakech where after you have been scrubbed and cleansed, the final stage is to submerge your naked body in a cold bath to regulate your body temperature. Your head goes under for a few brief seconds and you come back up feeling reborn. Both intimate experiences that require surrender to a stranger and within yourself as well.
Everything about this experience is sensual - or an unrestrained indulgence in sensual pleasures - if you want to get all Merriam-Webster about it. To have so many senses indulged simultaneously is transcendent. What a gift to be in my body, conscious, eyes closed, and silent for two whole hours. As I lie there I ponder if I’ve ever stayed quiet this long, wonders the woman who got minus marks on her report card for talking too much in class…
One thing I know for sure, it’s been years since I’ve taken a break from pain. Chronic pain is constant in my life, but the last few years have taken it to another level. It’s not just the pain itself, but the anticipation of it and how to manage it that has been exhausting. So to be lost in a sensory escape, floating, and oblivious to the weight and pain of carrying my body is unreal.
I would travel back to Iceland just for that feeling…but then again I am satisfied I got to experience it all. If I never get back to the Blue Lagoon, there are a few things I can do again, no passport required. Floating is one. Free (just add water) and fantastically freeing. Seriously, why don’t we float more, it’s the most!
More time in sensual mode please and thank you! I want to consciously take the time to indulge in my senses. Laying in the cool grass with my eyes closed, taking a hot bath, or wrapping myself in a soft blanket and burning a scented candle, whatever I choose, the takeaway is to take away the visual stimulation and even the aural stimulation as well.
There’s something to be said for being still without a screen. There’s also something to be said about being outside more. Nature is healing. Stillness is healing. Quiet is healing. Time to let the world and my overactive mind fall off.
For when everything falls away and you are fully present in your body, that’s a special kind of freedom. Free from active thought, free from to-do’s, free from responsibility, and permission to be present. Now that I’ve been let off the leash, I am free to pursue at will, whatever comes next.
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